Why Don't You Write My Eulogy Now So I Can Correct It?

The perfect Mother's Day gift: A collection of witty one-line advice New Yorker writer Patricia Marx heard from her mother, accompanied by full-color illustrations by New Yorker staff cartoonist Roz Chast.
Every mother knows best, but New Yorker writer Patty Marx's knows better. Patty has never been able to shake her mother's one-line witticisms from her brain, so she's collected them into a book, accompanied by full color illustrations by New Yorker staff cartoonist Roz Chast. These snappy maternal cautions include:
If you feel guilty about throwing away leftovers, put them in the back of your refrigerator for five days and then throw them out.
If you run out of food at your dinner party, the world will end.
When traveling, call the hotel from the airport to say there aren't enough towels in your room and, by the way, you'd like a room with a better view.
Why don't you write my eulogy now so I can correct it?
Every child will want to buy this for mom on Mother's Day!